That Golden Rule: Five Random AvocaDOs and DON’ts in Valencia, Spain


Remember to guess the song/artist reference.  Is your brain biffle-baffled yet?  (Yes, that’s una pista – a clue!)

 

AvocaDOs and DON’Ts when moving to, or holidaying in, Spain:

 

1. Don’t expect to be able to speak English everywhere.  Learn the basics, at least. Check out my website conversewithchloe.com for lessons and free resources.  Try language learning apps, podcasts and Youtube vids.wesbite 4

2. Do greet people verbally but don’t smile without saying anything.  This is a very subtle cultural difference but one to be noted if you don’t want to look like a total wally.  Take it from experience, my experience, that smiling at people in the street makes you look weird (especially if you have no eyebrows and can’t be bothered to pencil them in – see photo!)  However, you should definitely say ‘buenos días’ or ‘buenas tardes’ to your neighbour in passing.  Resting bitch face readers amongst you, happy days! 🙂  Those of you with a smiley disposition like me (well, sometimes) may just have to learn how to smile on the inside… and no, that’s not meant to sound like a cheesy drinkable yoghurt advert!

3. Do make the most of the cheap cost of living especially in cities like Valencia. I had this lovely brunch for much less than 10€ in Bluebell Coffee Co. in the hipster area Ruzafa and the paella below for a bargain 5€ with optional tinto de verano (basically a red wine spritzer with lemon!)

DSC_1575 paella-e1506001676341.jpegDSC_1067

4. Don’t expect avocados to be cheap.  I am actually outraged at the price of grapesthem even in the mercados.  4-5€ per kilo.  Holy guacamole!  Most other fruit and veg is cheaper than the UK and of a much better quality, however.  I’m getting a little bit addicted to 30 cent nectarines and these mahoosive grapes.  Yes, that’s a Spanish crossword puzzle in the background and it’s great for learning new vocabulary!

 

5.  Do stock up on toiletries before you head out here.  I can probably guarantee that you’ll miss Boots or, dare I say it, even Superdrug or Bodycare.  Reasonably-priced toiletries are available here even in supermarkets (with Carrefour probably stocking the widest variety) but anything remotely specialist (purple shampoo, silvery-blonde products, porcelain foundation, good primers, etc.) will cost you quite a lot and you’ll have to seek them out.  Dry shampoo-lovers are urged to proceed with caution!  I’d definitely avoid pharmacies for toiletries too as the prices are somewhat ridiculous.  They are great for extra-strong medicine though, especially those little Lemsip-style sachets you mix with cold water.  Positives to note are the huge bottles of shower gel on sale (which you’ll need to combat the 60% humidity with thrice-daily showers obligatory in Summer), aisle-upon-aisle of mosquito repellent plug-ins (none of which seems to work for me) and the 319 varieties of conditioner for pelo rizado and dañado (curly and damaged hair, respectively).

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the music reference is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Biffy Clyro – That Golden Rule

Son of Henry, I’m the first in line
To the throne, smell my mustard gas
I slash swords through your wooden spine
Well it cut my heart and it blew my head
We made love at the side of the road
Reflex, you better know this flows fast
This river is particularly sinister
Close your eyes and take my hand

I wanna scream one last death medley
I am looking for a reason to secure a forward motion

Love that golden rule, that golden rule
Need that golden rule, that golden rule
Secrets are the truth, they are the truth
We need that silver rule, that silver rule

Face to face with the ball and chain
I’ll poke my head up till its red
I tell my secrets and you took my pain
About a broken heart and I will do it again
Son of Henry, I’m the first in line
To the throne, smell my mustard gas
I slash swords through your wooden spine
Well it cut my heart and it blew my head

I want to scream one last death medley
I am looking for a reason to secure a forward motion

Love that golden rule, that golden rule
Need that golden rule, that golden rule
Secrets are the truth, they are the truth
We need that silver rule, that silver rule

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